The Original Document

Written by Lin Stone

Last week an amateur archaeologist friend of mine in Jerusalem let me know another important document of ancient origin had been discovered by a lonely goatherder. 

It all started when a goatherder with a flock of 100 goats came up with one missing.  Straightway leaving the 99 behind he searched for the missing member.  The little goat was found a few days later inside a cave high in the hills.

Biblical references tell us it was only natural that the goatherder should celebrate recovery of the lost kid and when he woke up the little goat was chewing on a piece of papyrus.  There's no telling how much was lost to powerful enzymes, but at least this one ancient document was saved and delivered to my amateur archaeologist friend.

Upon translating the document he was astounded for it purported to be a recruiting poster for King Saul of Israel, predecessor of King David.  Substantial testing substantiated the age of the document to be from that period of time when King Saul did first engage the Philistines in military combat.

We feel it is essential that this document be preserved for its historical value.   Thank goodness the price is right.  All the goatherder asks for is enough money to purchase 99 more goats since when he returned with the one that had been missing every last one of those he had left behind had left left for greener pastures without leaving a trace.

I'm sure there is a lesson there somewhere, perhaps even a moral or two.   Meanwhile I'm trying to help my friend raise the money to put the goatherder back into business before his master returns to make an accounting.  Please study the enclosed copy of the translation point by point.  For your convenience it has been translated into modern English. 

If you agree history must be served by the preservation of this document please send your contribution to my publisher forthwith.

Browzer Books
414 North 8th Street Street
Mena, AR 71953

Thank you.

And, now,
let the original document speak for itself.







    Come join the army of the Israelites. We give top pay for fearless men. Earn up to one penny per day, paid in annual installments starting just as soon as this war is won.

    We are an Equal Opportunity Employer;

  1. We will take anybody.

  2. Age is no barrier.

  3. No education is required.

    This is thine chance to become a man.

Many of the challenges we offer thee art BIG and TALL.
Thou wilt find adventure --
thou might even see exotic dancers on the sandy, windswept Plains of the Philistines.

    Come as thou art.

Bring thine own food.
Bring thine own uniforms.
Bring thine own weapons.
Bring thine own harp.
And, if thou dost not like walking,
May we suggest thou shalt bring thine own camel.

We do guarantee to furnish five (5) rounds of smooth ammunition FREE to every sharpshooter able to hit the side of a manger with his own slingshot.

    Re-enlistment bonuses will be paid to all survivors of their first battle.

Rapid advancement is guaranteed.
Retreats are even faster.

    This opportunity is too good to pass up.
Don't even stop to tell thine mother thou art leaving home.
Just get here -----
and get here --- F-A-S-T- because

Uncle Saul NEEDS YOU.
Sign up today, at any outpost still standing...



As you can see, There is nothing new under the sun.  Uncle Saul was almost as generous way back then as Uncle Sam is today.  If you agree history must be served by the preservation of this original document please send your contribution in used money of any denominations to my publisher forthwith.

Copyright 1999 by Lin Stone


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